Retarded Selfies

What is this strange phenomenon that most people seem to be oblivious to? It seems that those who expose themselves to regular selfies are becoming more and more retarded. Main stream media are not reporting this but with a trained eye you can watch perfectly functioning individuals literally retard in front of your face. Are you one of the few that have witnessed these sudden facial deformations that would look similar to someone who, with no prior warning, received a rapid stiff finger right up their rectum.

Pre-selfie era

The victims most common deformations are tightening of the lips whilst protruding outwards making it impossible to form a smile and the extremely high raised eyebrows as if a lion has clawed their forehead and ripped backwards, its scary stuff people. It can be quite unsettling in social gatherings such as party's if you walk right into a group selfie as your initial response might be to quickly scan the area for a threat, has someone died? where you burgled? then it dawns on you just after your adrenaline fight or flight response kicked in that the dreaded selfie retardation has claimed yet more victims. 

Naturally good looking people with great smiles are sadly being affected my this global disease, and we can only hope that someone somewhere finds a cure for the selfie retardation as it appears to be claiming new victims at an alarming rate with a new mutation dubbed 'filters' adding to the chaos. Stay safe people and stay strong. With a concentrated power of will you can form a natural smile even as your loved ones fall into retardation. The natural smiles of the few may be the only remedy to help remind the victims of the time before the selfie disease.